December 27th-31st : Twixtmas : five days to change your world...

2. Respect yourself

Do not expect other people to treat you with respect if you don't respect yourself.  If someone has told you are thick and useless they are wrong.  The people who say this are inadequate manipulating bullies.  Who are you really? If you think you are stupid, useless and a failure.  You are right.  Isn't it a better story to tell yourself about what there is to respect about you.

3. Admire yourself in the mirror

Look in the mirror and say:  "I'm OK as I am"

If you're feeling brave turn to your friends or family, look them in the eye (either one) as sincerely as you can and say:  "You know, I'm OK as I am".  If they start laughing say: "Thank you for listening you are a beautiful person"

4. Avoid the psychotoxic

If you cannot stand someone in your life decide now to stop playing out with him or her.  As a child you wouldn't call round for someone you did not like, so why do it as an adult.  Decide right now not to invite then to your house again.

Negative people can seriously affect your motivation levels. They are psychotoxic.

If the person you cannot stand is at your work make some practical changes: re arrange your lunch break plans, shut your door (if you have one) and put a sign saying 'I'm busy - disturb only if important'.  If they abuse your new system firmly remind them that you are busy and then get back to work whilst they are still standing there.

5. Start saving with the loose change in your pocket

If financial debt has been a problem this year arrange to open a savings account at a local bank, post office or building society.  Many accounts can be opened with £1.  Commit yourself to putting loose change or spare money if you are feeling flush into this account for next Christmas use only.

6. Saying 'No'

Start saying 'no' to unreasonable requests.  Too many people say 'Yes' when they really want to say 'No'. This leads to resentful feelings and if prolonged can result in depression. Saying 'No' is not a crime.  You have a right to say 'No'.  If people feel hurt because you turn down one of their requests, that is their problem not yours.

7. Attempt things more

The truth about quitting is that it often takes a few attempts.  The most successful ex-smokers have tried on average 6-8 times.  That means the more times you attempt the more successful you become.  The sooner you get back on track the sooner you beat the habit you want to break.

8. Live to your own standards - and lighten up

If you are a perfectionist realise you are living life according to someone else's standards - not yours.  Perfectionism is about trying to please someone else (usually from your past).  It is a very depressing way to live because you'll never get there.  Stop being a perfectionist now.  Just decide to stop mindless journey to a destination that doesn't exist.  Instead look at your own needs and be gentle on yourself.

There is more to life than you being hard on yourself - if you lighten up.  Another problem with perfectionism is taking yourself so seriously that it blocks your sense of humour.  You'll stop seeing the funny side of things and that's very depressing

9. Start giving your time

You may have been advised to never volunteer in the past.  Volunteering for just an hour a week is a great way of lifting yourself out of feeling down.  Helping other people have better lives or helping to improve your community in other ways without getting paid is a great feeling.

10. More of what you need

In the next 24 hours sit down with a pen and ask yourself: 'What do I need in my life right now?'  Having written down some answers, now comes the challenge.  Start changing your behaviour so you get more of what you need and less of what you don't need.

If you need to say sorry  - say it

If you need to say 'I love you' to someone - do it

If you need to spend some time just chilling - sort it

Mr. Arnall has worked in the NHS helping people with depression and addictive behaviour.  He also runs courses and gives talks for organisations on stress and anger management, happiness, understanding depression and the psychology of success

Get in touch

Cliff Arnall can be contacted on cliff@nopills.demon.co.uk

Steve McDermott: Europe's funniest, most insightful, motivational speaker

Steve McDermott is a broadcaster, businessman and author. His book "How to be a complete and utter failure in life, work and everything" is an international best seller. The live recording of the book was number one in the Amazon comedy chart.

Steve was voted European Motivational Speaker of the year for 2007. That's because his presentations make people laugh as well as think. Or as the Director General for the council of mortgage lenders puts it "Steve captivated the audience for two and a half hours". It's this unique style, half business guru; half stand up comedian, which has made him one of the most sought after speakers in Europe. In nearly fifteen years as a professional speaker, from Blackpool to Berlin, Steve hasn't just talked to thousands of people but also encouraged them to take positive action. As Anne Leaver, Director of Human Resources, Crieff Hydro puts it "If you enjoy having fun then you'll love Steve's approach. This down to earth Yorkshire man is an inspiration to his audience. His simple straight forward ideas work. I know because I've tried them"

Steve is also a consultant, coach and trainer for a host of organisations including Smith & Nephew, Virgin, Asda and The National Health Service. He specialises in helping individuals and organisations develop new ways of thinking in order to realise their dreams. And as an expert in communication he shows clients how to convey their messages in more impactful and effective ways.

Steve knows just what it takes to create and sell ideas because before starting his own company, for 15 years he was a Copy Writer and then Creative Director of a highly successful Advertising Agency. He has won over twenty international and national awards for creativity and was particularly fond of writing radio commercials.

He lives in Leeds, in England, with his wife, three children, two squirrels and, although it's never been seen, a hedgehog.